Why Silencing Your Imposter Syndrome Backfires (And What Actually Works Instead)

First, let's get the name right...

You know that feeling when you're convinced everyone's going to figure out you don't really know what you're doing? That you somehow fooled them into thinking you belong here?

Most people call it "Imposter Syndrome," but here's something interesting: researchers actually prefer "Imposter Phenomenon." The word "syndrome" makes it sound like there's something medically wrong with you. But this isn't a diagnosis — it's just a very human way of thinking that kicks in when we're stretching beyond our comfort zone. It can come about when we’re on shaky ground:

**doing something new

**being challenged

**when things change suddenly over night

The list could go on and on. And if you're experiencing it? You're in excellent company. It shows up for award-winning actors before they step on stage, for surgeons before complex operations, for artists before they show their work... and yes, even for that confident woman you follow on Instagram or know at work.

What We Get Wrong

#1: Thinking We Need to "Fix" It

Here's what most advice tells you: "Just silence that inner critic! Banish those doubts!"

But how does this sound? That doubtful voice didn't show up to ruin your life. It showed up to protect it.

Think about it: somewhere along the way, a part of you decided that staying humble, over-preparing, or questioning yourself was the safest strategy. Maybe it kept you from getting in trouble as a child. Maybe it helped you avoid embarrassment in school. Maybe it's been your secret weapon for staying liked and accepted.

When you try to shut it down, you end up in this exhausting internal argument:

"I'm qualified for this." "Are you though? Remember that time you..." "Stop it! I AM good enough!" "Prove it."

Instead of fighting it, what if you got curious? What if you asked that worried part of you: "What are you afraid will happen if I own my capabilities? What are you trying to protect me from?"

You might be surprised by what it tells you.

What We Get Wrong #2:

Believing It Means We're Not Ready

Here's something I've noticed: imposter feelings don't show up when you're playing it safe. They show up precisely when you're growing.

Going back to school at 52? Starting that business you've dreamed about for years? Finally putting your art out there? Taking on a leadership role in your community? That's exactly when your inner protector starts whispering, "Who do you think you are?"

And yet there's a contradiction here — people who never question themselves, who never wonder if they're doing a good job or having the right impact? Those aren't usually the people you want in charge of important things.

Some self-awareness is actually a strength. It's when it tips into paralysis or endless second-guessing that it needs your attention.

The truth? You don't need to feel ready to be ready. You just need to be willing to learn as you go.

What We Get Wrong #3:

Waiting for Confidence to Show Up First

We tell ourselves: "Once I feel confident, then I'll apply for that opportunity. Then I'll share my work. Then I'll speak up in that meeting."

But confidence isn't a prerequisite for action — it's a result of it.

Think about the last time you felt truly confident about something. Chances are, it came after you'd done it a few times, not before.

This doesn't mean ignoring that worried voice completely. It means bringing it along for the ride:

"I hear you, critical part. I know you're concerned about what people will think. You can come with me, but I'm making the decisions here."

When you stop making your doubt the enemy and start treating it like one voice in your internal advisory committee — not the CEO, just a concerned board member — everything shifts.

Why Fighting Your Doubt Makes It Stronger

Ever notice how the harder you try not to think about something, the more it dominates your thoughts? Your doubtful parts work the same way. When you slam the door on them, they knock louder. They're trying to get your attention because they believe they're protecting you from something important.

But when you listen — really listen — to what they're worried about, something interesting happens. They often settle down. Not because you've convinced them they're wrong, but because they finally feel heard. What a relief!

What to Do Instead

The next time that familiar voice pipes up with "You don't belong here" or "Everyone's going to figure out you're a fraud," try this:

Notice it without judgment. "Oh, hello, critical part. There you are."

Get curious about its concerns. "What are you afraid will happen if I own my expertise here? What are you trying to protect me from?"

Acknowledge what it's trying to do for you. "I can see you're working hard to keep me safe from embarrassment/rejection/failure. Thank you for caring about me."

Gently take the lead. "I've got this handled. You can relax a little."

This isn't about positive thinking or affirmations. It's about changing your relationship with the parts of you that worry. When they don't have to fight for your attention, they can finally rest.

The Truth About Imposter Feelings

Those imposter feelings aren't evidence that you don't belong. They're evidence that you care deeply about doing well, contributing meaningfully, and having a positive impact.

If you’re like most of us you learned, probably long ago, that staying vigilant about your weaknesses was the best way to prevent them from becoming problems. It's been working overtime ever since.

When you meet that part with understanding instead of resistance, you give it permission to step back. And that's when you can finally step forward — not because the doubt is gone, but because it no longer gets to drive.

Learn more at Renewal with Suzanne