This is the final post in a three-part series on befriending your inner critic. Parts One and Two are worth reading first if you haven't already. You can head to Renewal Reflections here. This is where we put it all together. Over the past two weeks, two things have been practised. Noticing the inner critic when it arrives, without being swept away by it. And getting curious about what it is actually trying to protect, rather than arguing with it or simply believing it. Both

Part Two: Getting Curious Changes Everything This is the second in a three-part series on befriending your inner critic. If you missed Part One, start there. It sets up everything that follows. [Read Part One: The Voice That Won't Quit →] Most of us have been aware of the inner critic for years. How could we not be? It has been there for a long time. A familiar presence, always just behind us, following us into decisions, conversations, quiet moments, the end of a long day. W

Part One: What Changes When You Simply Notice This is the first in a three-part series on befriending your inner critic. Not silencing it. Not defeating it. Something friendlier and more lasting than that. There's a moment most of us know well. We’re about to say no to someone, and a voice cuts in: "Don't be selfish!" We set out to try something new, and the same voice pipes up: "Who do you think you are?" Sometimes it arrives in the smaller, quieter moments. At the end of a

I did something recently that I think you'll find interesting. Especially if you’re one of those people who wonder what life will be like with AI everywhere. I spent some time using ChatGPT as my therapist. I wanted to see what it would recommend for women who are tired of fighting themselves. The kind of exhausting push-pull where one part says "go for it" and another says "don't bother." The voice that says I’m not good enough and never will be. The one that talks you out

After a recent session, something stayed with me. A woman said, almost apologetically, "Rest makes me nervous. It feels like I'm doing something wrong. I get really uncomfortable." That quiet fear? I hear it constantly — not because it's rare, but because it's woven through so many of the women I work with. We often talk about perfectionism as if it's about high standards or impressive work ethic. But when we really listen beneath the surface, perfectionism is usually somethi

After the running the recent Wisdom Within workshop, something struck me: some women described feeling a deep calm, a soft quietness, a sense of finally feeling themselves again. Others said something different: "I wanted to feel calm… but I couldn't reach anything. My mind was racing." I want to talk about this today — because what feels like a "lack of calm" is often something else entirely. Why Some People Can Access Calm… and Others Can't (Yet) When we've spent decades ho

What if everything you're searching for is already here? In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these qualities are signs that our Inner Guide — what the model calls Self — is leading. In Buddhism, the same essence is described as buddha nature . Other spiritual traditions have their own words for it. Different names, same wonderful human truth. This isn't something we earn, achieve, or add on top of ourselves. It's part of who we are — our natural state. The problem is, most of

The body knows. I was in the middle of a conversation last week when I noticed a feeling of butterflies in my stomach. My mind was still forming words, nodding along, but my body had already delivered its verdict: Something's off here. It took another ten minutes before my thinking mind caught up. Oh. I don't actually feel comfortable with what this person is saying to me. My body knew first. This happens more than I used to realise. The tightness in my chest before I unders

By the time we reach 50, most of us have done a lot of inner work.We’ve read the books, attended workshops, maybe even had therapy.We know about our inner critic. We see our patterns. And yet, the self-doubt often feels louder than ever. Why Awareness Isn’t the Same as Change Just recognising the critic or noticing behaviours we don’t like doesn’t automatically bring healing. In fact, once we understand what’s happening but still can’t shift it, the frustration can deepen.

First, let's get the name right... You know that feeling when you're convinced everyone's going to figure out you don't really know what you're doing? That you somehow fooled them into thinking you belong here? Most people call it "Imposter Syndrome," but here's something interesting: researchers actually prefer "Imposter Phenomenon." The word "syndrome" makes it sound like there's something medically wrong with you. But this isn't a diagnosis — it's just a very human way of

For many of us, the loudest voices inside are not the wisest ones. They’re the parts of us that learned long ago how to keep us safe — by...

Here's a look at how inner parts show up in our lives.